We live in an age where we are exposed to a number of different sexualities. Gone are the days of being either straight or gay. Bisexual, asexual, demisexual, sexuality has never been a straight forward, linear thing but it’s only in recent years that these terms have been used more openly. I think it’s wonderful how people can proudly address their sexuality, but what if you’re not sure of where you sit on the spectrum?
This is the first time I’ve ever addressed my thoughts and queries about my own sexuality. For the most part I have considered myself straight. In school I always fancied the opposite sex and my celebrity crushes were also primarily males. However, after joining Tumblr somewhat five/six years ago, I was finding myself unable to scroll through my dash without seeing a few naked bodies here and there (I recall clearly the days when I would be scrolling through it with someone sitting next to me – on edge to say the least). It soon became clear to me that I didn’t find the male body attractive. I have done a bit of research and it’s became apparent that it is common for females to feel some sort of attraction to breasts. This information left me thinking that ‘okay, I just totally appreciate boobs but I am straight.’ After all, I had never had a proper crush on a girl. I’ve had ‘girl crushes’ on celebrities and such but have never felt the way I do whenever I like a guy with a girl. Conclusion: I am a heterosexual female.
That being said, I have very little experience in terms of sexual relationships. I’ve only ever been in one proper relationship in the 20 years I’ve walked the Earth and that only lasted a few months. So how am I to really know?
This is where the question arises again. Shouldn’t a heterosexual female feel sick at the thought of getting with a girl? Shouldn’t it give them the shivers and have them thinking ‘nah, not for me thanks?’ You see, the fact is that it doesn’t leave me feeling like that. The thought of being with a girl doesn’t phase me at all. I am open to loving a female should I fall in love with one. I may have never had a proper crush on someone of the same sex, but I’m open to it.
For now I don’t want to label myself as anything. Lack of experience and exploration has left me somewhat reluctant to confirm my sexuality as anything but straight. However, when I do have to put in my sexuality while filling out a form, it just doesn’t sit right with me when I put heterosexual. In an ideal world I’d have there be no labels and we fall in love with whoever we fall in love with and that’s the end of it. Alas, this is not the case.
Feel free to leave your own thoughts and opinions on sexuality, or any of your own experiences. And if I’m not alone in these thoughts/feelings then please let me know!